Big birthdays and such

HF and my sister are basically the same exact age; they were born three days apart. HF's is in the final few days of the year and Katie's is right at the start of the new year. We decided to do a little something to commemorate since this year was a big one (ahem). My sister and her family drove up from AL two days after Christmas to join us. Also my parents - who had spent Christmas with them in AL this year - flew in, as did my brother, his wife, and their three-year-old son Sam. [Their six-month old twins stayed in MA with their grandparents.] Super fun to have the gang all here, and the weather cooperated beautifully.

Uncle Robbie leading his son Sam on the zip-line

First ever farm tractor ride! Uncle Mac pulled the trailer

A few DC-area friends and family members joined us to celebrate

Wahoo!

Everyone except Katie and her family left at the end of the weekend, but we got to enjoy three more days with them before they headed back to AL the day after New Years. Busy, fun crew: Katie and Adam have three girls (youngest Eliza is 8 months old) and are expecting a fourth in March. Great times - games; hike in a local state park; swim in the YMCA pool; trip to Chick-Fil-A and more pizza oven action. Something for everyone!

Roo bonding with her bestie fellow-6-year-old cousin Caroline

The last four days have been spent cleaning up house and life, doing year-end stuff for 2013, and sorting out plans and basics for 2014. Kids start back with schooling this week, and routine will once again come to the fore. Thankfully we have all been healthy now - even me! for the past week plus. Phew!

We got two inches of snow on Thursday night which resulted in jubilation by the kids, especially Monkey. HF pulled out the snowboards and helped the oldest two figure out how to use them (note the grass showing through the thin snow layer). They were naturals like their old man….

Notes from November

Thanksgiving is coming! And with it, turkey crafts. A preschool creation demoed by the goose:

Giving. This year the kids and I made up a few Christmas boxes for poor kids in developing nations through Operation Christmas Child (Samaritan's Purse). The oldest three contributed money from their "give" bins to the items we purchased, which worked out great. AWANA gave us the opportunity to participate, and I was glad to take it. We need to do much more of this kind of thing as a family (by which I mean service and engagement in global poverty), and this proved to be a simple and doable start.

Lights, camera, action…! OK, just the lights, part -- but that's the only part we were after anyway. Overhead lights in the living room, den, and stairway -- hooray! We also have curtains and artwork going up, so things are moving along in the interior design way. Love it

Sad day... Monkey's closest friend since we moved to Virginia is Seth, a classmate of his from first grade at King George Elementary last spring. This weekend Seth and his family are moving to the United Arab Emirates… Sad day for us. This wrestling photo was taken on Sunday, when the two boys spent most of the day playing and soaking in time together. (He was also one of the two boys at Monkey's sleepover birthday party.) We'll foster a pen pal relationship between the two boys - we've been fortunate enough to do that with several friends from CA. But in the meantime, farewells are always hard.

AWANA and such

There are a great many Baptist churches in our town and this region in general, and a great many AWANA programs for children. We have limited exposure to AWANA but know many who participate, and there is one church in particular whose program has a reputation of being well-run, and it is well-attended by many we know and so far like. It's Wednesday nights 5:30 - 7:30. Everyone can participate - there's a 2-yr-old class, a 3-4 class, and then programs for 5 and up. Plus a women's Bible study that meets at the same time as AWANA, win for me. We have been attending for 4 Wednesdays now, and it's quite a scramble to get out the door and to the program start in time, and more of a scramble to figure out how to get food into the kids before and after the evening. We are meeting some cool people and getting connecting, so far, but the jury is still out on the program. The goose really enjoys it, but it hasn't been a huge hit so far with any of the other crew. We'll definitely continue on through the fall, and then we'll reassess.

Monkey in his AWANA vest

The goose has become quite a little kitchen helper and greatly enjoys being my sous-chef during my meal-prep time on days when the oldest 2 are in school (my cooking time generally coincides with Mouse's nap). Here is in in ninja costume, peeling carrots:

Speaking of kitchen work, HF is on another cooking kick; he is conquering the world of sourdough. A lot of experimentation, and here we are with a lovely loaf:

Sonshine Beach Blast

First experience with Vacation Bible School ("VBS") this week at church, and so far it's been a big hit. It's a family affair: I'm volunteering in the craft room; the monkey is the pre-K class; Roo is with the 2's, and the goose is hangin' in the nursery (taking her morning nap there and then crawling around with the other babies). The theme is beach, which couldn't be a better fit for our aqua-loving kids.

There are several hundred children, mostly older (since the old preschoolers participating are those whose moms volunteer as helpers); the program-time in the sanctuary is, as the monkey pointed out, the 'first time we get to go where the grown-ups go' for church. Very exciting. The songs are very catchy and I've been surprised at how much some of the themes and teachings have penetrated, especially those related to fear and trust in God.

Crafts are a huge hit; here you see the esteemed "crab visor" and, hanging above our kitchen slider, jellyfish and starfish selections on display. It's a lot of programming for our little ones (9 - 12 five days/week), so they are exhausted but enthused.

"Easter Mountain"

Big hit this year was the creation of an "Easter mountain" out of playdough, an activity a NH friend had successfully attempted last spring with her same-age kids. We created the mold on Thursday night by making, shaping, and baking the playdough; decorated it on good Friday and inserted pipe-cleaner "Jesus" in the tin-can tomb; and then delighted to "roll back the stone" on Easter morning to discover that Jesus was indeed no longer inside.

HF and I briefly discussed whether the tomb should be colored green and brown - to make it life-like and help it actually resemble a mountain (my notion) - or whether we should give the kids full color creative license (his). We went with the colors. The monkey and Roo really loved the whole project; the hands-on nature of it really brought the Easter concepts to life. "I wish we could post a guard in front of the tomb," said the monkey after Jesus came off the cross and was laid inside the tomb on Friday night... And so, as the idea was completely biblically accurate, we did. Pictured.

Uncle Dan, Aunt Rebecca, Noah, and baby Josephine spent the weekend with us, and we had a great time hunting Easter eggs together this morning before church. The grown-ups opted to have our Easter dinner on Saturday night so it could fully be enjoyed and appreciated in a kid-free manner. The ham was from the quarter-pig we helped our local friends raise - our first effort in preparing one. We were pleased with the results; a tasty meal. Perfect to celebrate Jesus' resurrection with good friends.

We felt a slight earthquake this afternoon on the sidewalk as we were helping our friends pack up their car... Third or so since we moved here. Getting better at identifying them!

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Raising children is truly a window-on-the-soul experience. I mean really, when you stop and think about it - what other opportunity does one have in life to witness the development of a human person from such a close vantage point, through every phase of life? None.

The longer you're a parent, I've been thinking, the more you really see the contents of your kids' little hearts and minds - the good, the bad, and the ugly. They're still without facades and have not yet learned shame, so it all just comes out -- what you see is what you get. And the good your kids display is blissfully, sunlight-basking good - the stuff of dreams and fables. The bad is just raw human sin, the selfishness and deceitfulness of the human heart, laid bare. The ugly, I think, is just the worst of the bad you see in your kids - the baddest bad moments that leave you the most stunned and disappointed.

Every night before bed, J gives me a hug, kiss, fist-pump, high five, handshake, and thumbs up (and in that order, if you please). We do it together, our little joint bedtime ritual. And then, just before we say his prayers, he inevitably chimes, "We had a lot of fun today, Mom." For the life of us, Y and I have no idea where he got this from, whom he might be copying when he says it. He seems to have made it up on his own. And the thing is- it doesn't matter what kind of day he, or we, had- whether the tone or events have been tumultous or pleasant. He calls out and affirms the day's fun. It's unspeakably heartwarming.

And then, at the same time, he's going through a really upsetting phase where he is occasionally quite unkind to our dog. He loves Angus and his mean moments occur in the midst of play, but they are mean nonetheless. Running into him with his scooter and such. Discipline, discussion, review of how God tells us to treat animals - so far none of this has impacted him sufficiently to stop the behavior (yet).

And even though Q is a mere 18 months, the full range from good to ugly that's inherent in all of us humans is already present. When she snuggles into me at night, pats my back while hugging me, and tries to say 'love you,' it melts me... Hours later she's displaying dramatic viciousness while wildly grabbing toys away from her brother when she wants to play with them - simply ripping them out of his hands in a rage.

One can truly see in the activities of a child how we are made in the image of God... and yet have the marks of the fall all over us.

On MOPS and MOMS

Some of you will chuckle to learn that I've joined the leadership team for the mothers' group that's offered by the church Y. and I are attending (Ventura Missionary Church). Comical, I know, given that we've been going there for just a month! My friend and neighbor Kim goes there with her family (her kids are pictured here at Q's birthday celebration], and she asked me if I'd be interested in filling one of their leadership openings in August, so I started noodling it during the church-search phase.

Back in NH, I hugely valued the kids' and my participation in the local MOPS ["Mothers of Preschoolers"] chapter at our church. The two hours we spent their twice a month on a Wednesday morning were satisfying and enriching for all of us - kids and me alike. The childcare was stellar, the chance for the kids (especially J.) to interact with others his age was helpful, and my opportunity to have some regular "adults only" time focused specifically on mothering and family-related issues was invaluable. I never missed a session.

The mothers' group at our new church is modeled on MOPS but is not part of the national organization. It's called MOMS for "Making Our Mothering Significant." Can you stand these acronyms? But the format is virtually identical, and many of the speakers/topics they're covering this fall look similar to those of my former MOPS. One thing I like about this group is that the leadership team meets regularly for not just group planning/admin but also a corporate Bible study - so my involvement at that level is like a two-for-one, as I'd otherwise not be in a women's study. They are doing a Beth Moore study - the first I've ever done, which I'm excited about since I've long known of her - one on the book of Daniel, with video sessions. Beth sure is as much of a live wire as her reputation indicates... but so far I really like her.

There is a mini-retreat for MOMS leaders this evening 6 - 10 pm and tomorrow morning, 8:30 - 12 noon, so Kim and I will minivan ourselves over there to hang with the ladies, with whom I've so far been pretty impressed... Should be interesting.

Conclusion to the church hunt

After trying out four churches, we finally decided on Ventura Missionary Church. No church is perfect, of course, but we do like it and feel comfortable there, and it seems the best fit of those we tried. An added bonus is that our fireman neighbors - Chuck, Kim, and family - go there too.

On Sunday the sermon topic was "blessed are the persecuted" as they're doing a series on the Beatitudes, and they did an interview with the church's very bright and articulate missions pastor. The guy was a cop for 22 years with expertise in hostage negotiation, and since the 1980's he has headed up the world's only consulting and assistance ministry to missionaries in high-security or abduction situations. We found his commentary fascinating and compelling, especially Y, as we'd never really contemplated the security aspects of the missionary movement. 120 missionaries taken hostage in the past 20 years, and half of these murdered. Info here. Y introduced himself when the service ended, so who knows, maybe this is something we'll learn more about. It all served to make us feel that we were in the right place.

Y left on Sunday night to head back to San Diego again for the week. As his parents had left by shuttle on Saturday morning, the kids and I are home alone. The past two days have been surprisingly refreshing and quieting. It feels like the dust has settled, and we now have our bearings.

Lessons from loneliness

With boxes now unpacked and the house set up, I have reached "that stage" that I've so long wished for... and also known would be challenging. The whole reality of our new life in California is upon us, and with it the weight and range of emotions that this elicits.

The kids and I are fully back into our normal daytime routine - Q's morning nap, simultaneous to J's room and TV time; late morning activities and lunch; naptime; late afternoon activities. We've done basically this drill for the past five months... But it's wild how completely different it feels to be doing it in this new, Other setting. Place really does drive experience.

Exhaustion has been high for me this week and my mood fairly low. I'm not depressed, just kind of down and flat. For the past six months my life was 'normal community/friend scene; lack of marriage/family scene' and now, in a moment, the equation is completely reversed. It's wonderful to look forward to Y. coming home at the end of the day and a few hours of family and marriage time... But the days are slow and lonely.

Loneliness is a funny thing. Many - perhaps all - young mothers feel it sometimes, and it's only by the grace of God that this, my first true experience of it, has come so late. I know it's apt to be short lived. I know there is much to be gained soul-wise and faith-wise from the experience of loneliness, like all difficult experiences. I've blogged about this previously and actually just re-read my words by way of self-pep talk.

Feeling lonely is uncomfortable, and the discomfort causes a desire to move past the loneliness immediately. But often, that's actually an unhelpful response. It's like when you start a diet and then are faced with what to do when you feel a little hungry at a non meal-time. It would be nice to eat, but that would defeat your goals. You realize: really, is it so terrible to feel a little hungry? It's not going to kill you, and you see that not reacting every time this sensation occurs becomes normal, and eventually works toward weight loss.

Similarly, when I feel lonely - what am I going to do? Feel sorry for myself? Rush out to pace the neighborhood or crowd the playground, trolling for friends? Glom daily onto the activities of my nice neighbor? None of these is helpful. Better to be aware of and present to the reality, offer it to God in prayer, make some intentional forays into developing relationships - while at the same time shouldering a bit of discomfort and appreciating the experience for what it does offer, until it changes. This, I figure, is part of what living out 'waiting on the Lord' in this situation is supposed to look like...