Peddler of a big-boy bike!

J learned how to use the peddles on the red bike that Nana and Grampy gave him for his birthday! Big news. Q (in her low-rider jeans) is as excited as J, as is evident.

Yule Love This...

Well we're ensconced in a merry Ventura Christmas - a bit different to be sure, but enjoyable nonetheless. We went to a fun, kid-friendly 5 pm service at our church with our neighbors last night and put our milk and cookies out for Santa after a garlic shrimp pasta dinner. This morning we did the whole kit & caboodle - stockings, big breakfast, presents, play, overtired-and-oversugared kids by 11 AM.

Our nephew Micah, age 3 1/2, is into these little plastic army men, which Y loved too when he was a kid, so we bought them for Micah's gift and got a batch for J too. After pulling the army men from his stocking this morning and inspecting them, J said, "Look Dad, they're surfing!" An astute observation and certainly a fair assessment of the heavily armed men standing on surfboard-shaped slabs of plastic. Our California boy, providing a good beachside-life Xmas morning laugh.

[Quick aside on terminology, by the way... Many Christians I know dislike the term "Xmas" because they feel assume its use is intended to denigrate Christ or take the "Christ" out of Christmas. We discussed this at length last Christmas among the girls in my Bible study. The opposite is actually true - the term is rooted in the Christian church. "X" is derived from the word ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ, transliterated as Christos, which is Greek for Christ - Greek being the language in which the New Testament was written. Originally, Xmas was an abbreviation where the X represents the Greek letter chi, which is the first letter of Christ's name. For this reason, I intentionally utilize the terms "xmas" and "xian" as Christ-centric terms...]

Celebrity sighting...

We took a trip up to Santa Barbara today after our regular Saturday morning farmers' market run to visit the zoo and poke around town. We hit a local bakery called Jeanine's that had been recommended by a colleague of Y's who lives in Santa Barbara for strawberry and pumpkin scones (overpriced, as expected, but delicious) and a breakfast burrito. A guy who looked a bit like a scruffy,out-of-shape Kevin Coster, wearing jeans and an A's baseball hat, showed up with a 20-ish girl and a toddler. When he asked the waiter about the specials right in front of us, his voice gave him away... definitely Kevin Costner. We knew he had a Santa Barbara house, and Y's colleague had even told him to keep an eye out for celebs as they frequent the place. As far as we can tell from Wikipedia et al, both the girl and the toddler were his children (he has 5 going on 6 with three women.) So we have spotted our first celebrity... We're clearly now getting the full CA experience.

Funny contrast, as yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of Y's receiving The Long-Awaited Call from his current employer to offer him his job. The day that will always be a little famous in our family and was among the most intense we've ever experienced (and led to four weeks that were even more so). It was all a total whirlwind, and the contrast between this Christmas and last heightens the surrealness of that time. Last year on Christmas day, we were moving cows into a trailer to send them through snowy roads to their new homes at Conrad's house. This year, we're thinking we may do a little outing to the beach to throw the buoy for Angus and let the kids play in the sand...

What a week...

Numerous blog worthy events have occured in the past seven days... Where to even begin?

On Friday, not long after my last post, Q's conditition worsened to the point where I decided to take her into the doctor. Not finding anything evidently wrong with her, the doctor surmised that she might have a urinary tract infection and thus taped a bag onto her crotch to collect a urine sample. After which she, J, and I proceeded to hang out in the doctor's office for two hours, waiting until she finally caved and peed - which happily did occur moments before 5 pm when the office closed for the day/weekend. She did indeed have a UTI, poor girl, so she started another round of antibiotics (having just finished the prior course for her 2nd ear infection 48 hours prior). The UTI appears to have cleared quickly but the antibiotics don't agree with her stomach so she continues to be very cranky much of the time...

On Sunday we learned that power still had not been restored to Dover/Rollinsford NH following the enormous ice storm they'd had three days prior. We - along with every other homeowner in the region - began to fear for our properties there and potential freezing of the pipes... and accordingly began praying hard. Many of our closest friend were without power for three, four, and five days - sleeping on the floor with their kids in front of their fireplace or woodburning stove, or vacating altogether in the absence of one. [We would not have been able to stay at the farm, were we still living there, since the temps would have been below 40 in the house.] Thankfully power was restored by Sunday night and our three properties seem to have escaped damage.

On Tuesday we suffered our first Serious Computer Mishap. I was cooking with the kids in the kitchen and neglected to move my laptop's power cord up to the countertop, such that interested Q elected to grab it and find out what would happen if she pulled hard. It came tumbling the full 3.5 feet to the ground and smashed on the tile. Worst Laptop Nightmare. Two hours into a diagnostic call with Dell later we learned that the hard drive was finished. $400 and 24 hrs later, I was outfitted with a newly installed fresh hard drive and a repair to my plastics. Then today I spent about 6 hours rebuilding my laptop from the ground up with the phone assistance of my Tech Guru friend Ian Jukes, who was a savior. I back up all my data regularly so thought I would only lose a few stray items... Alas, I lost more than I thought, some quite sad/problematic. But thank God the damage wasn't worse and I was able to get it all restored to this point so quickly. I just started a 6-week contract with my client and can't afford to be without my computer.

It seems to be a tough pre-Christmas week all around. A dear NH friend who was without power for 5 days had a root canal today. My sister and her family are spending thousands on home repairs, and today learned their car needs $800 worth of work. Scrooge-ish circumstances, all.

In more fun news - J learned how to ride our neighbors scooters so we picked him up a $4.99 model at a local thrift store on Saturday. Short fall: it was a Barbie theme - see original photos below with PJ-clad rider J. Y and he painted it hunter green on Sunday, and it's as good (and comparatively masculine) as new. He LOVES it...

California colds

There's a perception in New England that milder climates lead to fewer colds in winter-time. Our NH doctor even told us this would be the case, but alas, we've learned, is a myth. Our pediatrician here - a Canadian gentleman named Dr. White who's practiced in the Northeast - is an infectious disease specialist and educated me on this point. Certain bugs hit the country every year at the same time, with no regard to climate or region. Cold viruses and the flu bug descend on America, for example, between the months of November and February, and this happens as much in southern Cal as it does in Rollinsford, NH. (South Americans associate flu with summer, he told me, as this is when the bug hits their region.)

So. We've been as entrenched in colds this winter as we were last, if not more so. I'm sneezing as I blog this. And the runny-nosed kids are watching the video as pictured above. Q has had two diagnosed ear infections in the past month, and now she and I are both battling a new cold that comes with an unpleasant sore throat component. Normal stuff, but who knew? Needless to say, we would have preferred to enjoy the blissful misperception of a comparatively cold-free winter.

Out of the mouths of babes at Christmas time...

We took a road trip up to San Luis Obispo today, about 120 miles up the coast, which is a beautiful spot and made for an enjoyable outing. We'd hoped to do a camping trip in Joshua Tree, but nightime temps were in the high 30's which sounded miserable. We hit a fun barn-style farmstand where we got our fix of barnyard animals (goats, ostriches, donkeys, chickens, etc) and also bought a Christmas tree. Daytime temps here have fallen to the mid-60's over the past 10 days, so it is feeling marginally more Christmassy which is nice. We chose a small tree and a table-top locale, which we feel will work best for little fingers...

J has been hilarious this week. Last week we set up our little nativity scene (the term 'creche' is unknown to our neighbors here, we found), and each day we look it over and identify the characters with J. For the first two days he used the term "Baby Jelly" to refer to our Lord and savior, which was rather adorable. Then today we were talking about God, and when he asked, "Where's God?" we explained that He's everywhere, but He's invisible so can't be seen. Whereupon J say, "Is God hiding? I'll go find him," and proceeded to do a hide-and-seek run on his big wheel around the kitchen looking for God.

The 'Pigeonator 3000'

We have a pigeon living in the eave of our roof. Or, I should say, had a pigeon living there. He's a wanderer that has apparently made his home in the eaves of several other neighborhood houses - he or one of his buddies. The problem is the array of droppings that he leaves all over the driveway, over which our children and other neighborhood kids ride, crawl, draw with sidewalk chalk - you get the idea. Gross.

Our friend and next-door neighbor Chuck, the fireman, has a remedy for this problem. He and our neighbor on the other side, "Sergeant Bob," have affectionately dubbed this solution the Pigeonator 3000. (Chuck installed one for Bob as well.) It's a small piece of drywall, about 15" square, that gets screwed into the opening so the pigeon can't land and roost. That's it. Simple, but it works.

Last weekend while Chuck was putting up his Christmas lights (he's the one with the extension ladder, and it makes its rounds throughout the neighborhood in this season), he left the ladder out so he and Y could get our house 'pigeonated.' Now the pigeon is out looking for a new home and driveway to litter with droppings. One more victory for the suburban dweller...

"Dreaming of a white Christmas"

..."dreaming" being the operative word. What to do, now, with all the snow references that pepper Christmas carols? Does integrity merit skipping verses that reference snowmen, sleigh bells, and frost? One can't help but wonder, as one jogs in shorts and T-shirt past houses laiden with Christmas decorations.

The Christmas decorations help, actually - our firemen neighbors next door busted out their 20' ladder and hung lights all over their house. It definitely put us more in the spirit. Prior to that, Y was actually saying that he wasn't sure we could get a tree - it just feels so wrong after cutting our own down, in the snow, the past two winters.

We did have a very nice Thanksgiving afternoon at the home of our friends Andrea and Thomas in Santa Barbara. Delicious food and great company, which is all anyone can ask for. Andrea had the house beautifully decorated, as the photo of the place setting can attest. It was certainly an adventure to spend a large portion of the time chasing two active toddlers around a small house filled with 20+ festive people -- but a lovely adventure. We certainly felt very thankful all around.

The Fate of the Vile Turkey

This poem was penned by my dear (and creative) husband on the first Thanksgiving we celebrated as a married couple... We were living in a seaside one-bedroom carriage house in Gloucester, MA and were brainstorming possible holiday-time traditions for our family. So far we've only ever acted on the 'let's write Thanksgiving poems' idea that one time, but perhaps we will re-establish it over the next few years once the kids are old enough.

The Fate of the Vile Turkey

Out, out damn turkey!
If thy breast doth sizzle and bake,
Then upon the next table you shall hang.

Your feathers ruffle thine own back by thy means,
And I extend no grace to thee.

‘Tis not thy fault that our like has taken to your consumption.

Tacino, tacino[1]!

How my lips drip desire for your dark and white meat.
I know the dark is fatter and clogs the paths of our blood,
But I cannot help my gluttonous craving to have you.

Thanksgiving is your nemesis, and I your betrayer.

Too bad your are not pork, the other white meat,
For your eyes would still dance on the sky,
Instead of your head rolling on the ground.

November 23, 1999
[1] “Turkey, turkey” in Italian


(This photo of Y was taken in 1997 - close enough...)

It's raining, it's pouring

Actually it's technically neither raining nor pouring... Yet. But some rain is in the forecast this week, about which we are ridiculously excited. It has rained exactly twice here since we moved here five months ago. One middle-of-the-night thunderstorm in August which made the news (and about which I blogged), and one all-day-soaker on November 1, J's birthday. The latter was an unexpected treat about which we were completely delighted.

We crave the rain and the psychological rest it brings. The daily sun and mild weather we get daily here are wonderful for numerous reasons, but one real down side is the prolonged absence of the rainy-day mindset. We watched movies, napped (even the adults) and played inside on rainy Nov 1 - never once having to address the "it's a beautiful day so we should be out doing something" feeling that such activites carry with them when the weather is fine. It was supremely peaceful and even restorative.

J loves his rain boots, as I observe that virtually all children his age do, and never gets to wear them. So here's hoping that he gets some good puddles to jump in over the next few days!

"Train up a child in the way he should go..."

We’d heard that the term ‘terrible twos’ can be a misnomer, as the age of three can be the time when things really get interesting and challenging with some children. Y and I have been discovering, over the past two months or so, that this is definitely the case with J.

There's a funny tension in parenting between addressing short phases and longer-term trends. Phases come and go in young children – like a week of picky eating or a short bout with temper tantrums. It’s recently become clear that some new behavior patterns of J’s are not passing phases but here to stay. And the methods we’ve been using to address these issues aren’t working anymore. After a weekend spent entrenched in temper tantrums and seemingly endless whining, Y and I sat down to talk strategy.

We have a few parenting books we’ve been given, and we began dipping into those a bit and ordered a few more. It’s not enough to be reactive and responsive in our parenting, we realized. We need to develop a plan, figure out what characteristics we want to foster in J (and all our children), and determine what strategies we'll employ to build these in him and help him grow. It’s going to require intentionality and consistency. The intersection between our faith/worldview and our parenting has emerged more concretely as well. Simply achieving a situation in which our son behaves tolerably isn’t, in the end, what we’re after.

We’re at the front end of this process. So far, this line in one of the books I've skimmed has stuck most in my mind: “If the strong-willed child is allowed by indulgence to develop ‘habits’ of defiance and disrespect during his early childhood, those characteristics will haunt him for the next twenty years.”
Anyway, I’d welcome input, comments, or book recommendations…

Not like Novembers we know...

It's a sunny 89 degrees outside right now, which is hard to reconcile with the Christmas planning that Y and I have begun to do. The weirdest was the sound of bells being run by the Salvation Army folks in the mall parking lot the other day. It feels downright bizarre. The heat and high winds that are normal at this time of year have some ill effects though...

A huge fire hit Santa Barbara two nights ago, just 20 miles up the coast from us, and a good friend of ours (whom we know from Boston) who lives there was impacted significantly. Andrea is a psych professor at Westmont College, and she evacuated her house (which thankfully was not burned) after watching the hillside burn and realizing that the National Guard was knocking on doors just a few blocks away telling people to leave. Andrea and her husband decided to sleep at his parents' house in Ventura, and the next morning she learned that her entire office building on campus had burned to the ground... Along with some student dorm housing. Talk about traumatic. Some faculty housing also burned to the ground includng that of her close friend. The full story can be found here. [Side note... "Santa Barbara County Fire Chief John Scherrei said little progress had been made on containment because firefighters were concentrating on saving homes." This John Scherrei is the father of our next-door neighbor, our 'fireman friends' Chuck and Kim.]

Today when we were driving up to Ojai for a picnic in the woods, we passed 6 fire trucks on the highway, coming from Santa Barbara. We found a nice spot at a campground we knew about, and the kids and Angus enjoyed playing around in/near the stream...

Grandparents visit~

My parents are visiting from Boston this week, and we're having a nice time poking around our various Ventura-area spots. Nothing like hosting family to realize that you have in fact made some headway in getting to know the neck of the woods to which you've moved. It's been 4 1/2 months now, long enough to definitely have routine destinations we like to hit. (More on this in a post I wrote for the women's leadership forum by Christianity Today to which I contribute).

We've been to Santa Barbara, Ojai, and the beach so far since my parents arrived on Saturday, so definitely staying busy. Y had today off for Veteran's Day so it's nice that he got to join us. It's particularly nice that my parents are here to witness the first full week of Q's walking, which is a thrill for us all. She's really getting the hang of it now...

We have a walker!

Big news from our big girl Q this week...

The thrill of three

We have a three-year old! We had a rousing and fun-filled celebration last night to include the four of us and the six members of the Scherrei family from next door. J adored all his presents and especially delighted in showing off his newly erected circular train track set to his neighbor friends. On Sunday Y had built him a backyard sandbox as a birthday gift, which all the kids enjoyed in the after-dinner dark while strewing sand throughout the yard. [That five children were able to actually get in it, since it is a 3 x 3 foot box, was impressive.] All around, the party was a success.

The day started off less promisingly with a 45-minute battle of wills surrounding J's total unwillingness to change out of his pull-up diaper... a scene very much in keeping with the tantrum and discipline processes that have become routine over the past six weeks. Typical 3-year-old stuff, we understand, but less than fun nevertheless and not how I would have chosen to kick off his birthday.

But of course, J is a delightful, precocious, observant child who extraordinarily blesses our whole family in countless ways. "It's a beauiful day out there, Mommy!" he exclaims almost daily. "But how are you doing Daddy?" he asks his dad, unprompted, when talking to him on the phone when Y is away. He is affectionate and brotherly with Q the vast majority of the time, and his wrestling and giggling with her melts our hearts. Thanks be to God for our 3-year old little man!

Trick-or-treat, Ventura style...

It was 75 degrees or so yesterday when lion J, piglet Q, and I hit our moms' group Halloween party at 10:30 AM at a nearby playground. There were 60 moms, probably 75 costumed kids, and more food than you can imagine. It was funny to watch the tikes on swings and playing in the sand in their costumes, especially knowing that in New England the temperature this week has been arctic.

J greatly enjoyed trick-or-treating last night around our neighborhood, which kicked off at 6:45 with an annual neighborhood parade (really just a street-full of costumed kids and parents walking en masse in the middle of the street). Getting to carry the flashlight was a highlight at first till J got the process and realized candy was involved. Neighbor (fireman) Chuck and Y were both absent so it was trick-or-treat bonding time for Kim and me. J adored trailing his idolized friend John, a boxer. Q fussed greatly in her stroller but is cutting molars, so who can blame her?

Y returned home late last night, just in time for J's 3rd birthday today -- which we're celebrating Monday with our neighbors...

Neighborhood pumpkin-carving event

Halloween block-bonding... The first pumpkin I've actually ever carved!

Up up and away

I make quite a spectacle traveling through the airport with the two kids. Everything has to be carry-on since I have to be able to walk from the car to the terminal with all we need. I have Q strapped to my front in a wrap, counter-balanced with a backpack on my back, pushing J in a stroller - from which are hanging several bags, with another one or two in the pouch below. With Q strapped to me I can breeze through security while focusing only on J, and once we've cleared it, I can put her in the stroller and J walks.

Not surprisingly, I get a lot of "Well don't you have your hands full?" comments from fellow travelers. And yes, I certainly do. I apologize to whoever's stuck sitting next to us, but only once in our six flights of this nature have I been next to someone who is clearly profoundly dismayed by our presence. I can't blame him; I well remember how direly I hoped, in my consultant days of frequent air travel, that the mom with two babies wouldn't be seated near me. Compared to some I've seen, I'd say our kids haven't been too bad. J's portable DVD player keeps him quiet and occupied most of the time, so I am chiefly occupied with keeping wriggly, overtired Q on my lap from being too noisy, and with trying to get her to go to sleep, which she eventually does. [Lowlights from this trip: (1) for the last 25 minutes of our 2nd flight on Thursday, both kids screamed their guts out while a mentally challenged man provided loud running commentary from the seat behind me. (2) While waiting for takeoff for 30 minutes on the ground on our 2nd flight yesterday, Q had a blow-out that went up her back, and b/c we were on a small plane, my back-pack full of clothes had been plane-side checked. Lovely.]

I've been thinking about the "You're so brave" comments I receive. I don't see myself as brave, so much as I've just decided that I can't let myself be deterred from going places by a less-than-ideal travel scenario with the kids. If I do, especially given our new life in southern California, I'll miss wonderful opportunities. Like visiting my sister in AL and seeing Y - with the kids, for the first time in months - in May. Or like our breath-of-fresh-air trip to MN to visit the Normans last weekend.

I think we Americans have to gotten to where we are almost afraid of unpleasantness. We can so predominantly order and orchestrate the details of our lives that we balk at the prospect of one difficult, taxing day - even if it comes with a reward, like a good destination. We just choose not to. This trip I thought a lot about the mothers with babies I saw in Africa, crammed into minivans or sitting on buses for untold hours at a time, trying to get wherever they needed to go. No diaper bags, juice boxes, or DVD players. No strollers, even. It's just the way life is over there... To those mothers, my recent trip would seem wonderfully pleasant compared to their travel norms.

Fall in Minnesota

Five days, 20 travel hours, and a total climate change later, we are back home after a fabulous fall adventure with our dear friends in Minnesota. Kari - a fellow 1981 alum of our Bronxville NY nursery school - is my longest standing friend, and time spent with her always reminds me how timeless true friendship really is. She and her great husband Matt welcomed twin boys last summer, the month before Q was born, and this was our first time meeting them. Andy and Luke are as fun, dear, and full of personality and life as I would expect of them, considering their parents. It was particularly amusing to all of us that Q, the junior in the group, was 5 lbs heavier and at least a couple inches taller then either of the Norman boys.

It felt refreshing to just land in Minneapolis to the scene of thick trees, fall foliage, and crisp weather. The burst of true fall seemed to encourage my soul, somehow. The two brisk runs I took there were the best I've had in weeks. It was a good weekend to visit as fall activies abounded, including a Halloween party at the boys' school; a kids' parade with trick-or-treating in downtown Edina; an 'Oktoberfest' gathering of Matt's high school friends; and even just straight-up leaf raking (see photo attached). Y was hugely missed.

It was great to be away, unplug, and take a "vacation from my problems" as good ol' What About Bob would say. [I hate the guy, and the movie, but what can I say? When he's right, he's right.] And that's really what it felt like, so three cheers for all the Normans for setting the scene for us.

As for the travel component... For commentary on flying with small children on multi-leg flights, watch this space... Hopefully tomorrow.

Hitting Hollywood

On Sunday we had our most recent blog-worthy So-Cal adventure, a trek into Hollywood to visit an old college friend of mine and his family. Keith is a radiologist doing a fellowship at UCLA; his wife Leah is an OB; and their 3-year old daughter Izzie became fast friends with J.

The exit off the highway that leads into Hollywood Hills is called Laurel Canyon Dr, and they weren't kidding about the "canyon" part. As you getaway from the highway, the roads become downright scary to drive on. They're hilly, windy, and narrow - almost felt like an exotic part of the Alps or something. Thank God I had my van was outfitted with its new transmission! We parked hillside at what seemed like a 60 degree angle.

Keith's family is renting a 2 BR, 1 bath house for $3000/month, which goes to show how expensive some areas of Los Angeles really are. The houses are perched on steep ridges so precariously that you'd almost think a hard rain could wash them away. (Of course, since we never get those here...) Keith and I guarded our toddlers closely when we walked up the hill to visit our film-making college buddy Dave, whose backyard perimeter literally falls away steeply into the canyon (into which J and Izzie sweetly threw lemons from Dave's lemon tree. See photo.) The "Hollywood" sign in the hills was just around the canyon bend and out of sight; maybe we'll catch it next trip.

We all enjoyed the reunion with friends and our mini-exploration of Hollywood, and the kids slept soundly on the ride home... Next adventure will be our visit to the Normans' house in Minneapolis this weekend. We sure are making the most of the time while Daddy's away!

So much for our new transmission

We picked up our van from Concourse Motors this afternoon. J.R., the mechanic who owns the place and had replaced our transmission, chatted with us and explained the warranty to us. The car felt good and we caravaned back to the house. I pulled up into the driveway and parked -- and immediately Y. was beside my window in a panic saying, "What's pouring out of the bottom of the van?" It was transmission fluid... a lot of it. Seemingly all of it. We immediately called J.R. who apologized profusely and promised to send a tow truck over first thing in the morning to fetch it (as the vehicle lost so much fluid, it's not driveable.) We then spent an hour trying to rinse and scrub the huge oil stain off our driveway - since its presence there could be grounds for our loss of security deposit. Feeling like the proverbial straw on the camel's back..

It's been one of those weeks. It seems like we'd just regained our financial footing after the move when a bunch of issues cropped up -- Angus vet meds for mange, allergies, and yeast infection; medical bills for smallscale dermatology issues that cropped up after my sunscreen rash (didn't even know that I had a PPO deductible till these came in); and then, of course, the great Transmission Debacle. Nothing huge - just a bunch of expensive, niggly items with unfortunately concurrent timing. The key is to continually remind myself that 95% of the world wishes they had middle-class American problems like these...

Fairs and fires

This morning we all set off to visit a "fall harvest festival" at a farm in Moorpark, about 15 miles east of us - basically the closest we can come to a fall fair out here. There were pumpkins, corn mazes, sitting tractors to climb on, farm animals, haystacks, and more. It was well designed for young kids as everything was in close proximity and the right height for access by a 3-year old. The highlight for us all was the pony ride... J shocked us by wanting to do it, and then more by actually doing it. He's a fairly wary boy who likes to stay in control of things, so we didn't expect him to be too excited about it. But after watching some other kids do it and hearing us repeatedly exclaim, "Look, it's just like when you ride Angus!" -- he became pretty enthused. Q looked on from her stroller as J rode by in his circle on Pony Farrah, and around and around he went.

Behind the haystack that J and I are standing on in this photo, you can see the smoke from the fire that was burning about 12 miles away in towns to the east of us. Highway 18, between Los Angeles and where we were in Moorpark at the farm, was shut down. It was our first experience of being within view of a wild fire out here. The winds are blowing very strongly today, the famed Santa Ana winds that roll in this time of year and spread the flames, and we could see the cloud of smoking widening behind us even as we shielded ourselves from the winds that whipped up the sawdust on the ground.

The fires make a lot of sense to us now. We've lived here for about 100 days, and it has rained on one of them. ONE. Southern Cal is basically a huge desert, with water piped in for the towns and farmlands, so really, it's no wonder the annual 'fire season' the natives refer to here is a normal part of the calendar...

Nothin' like car trouble...

One of our next-door neighbors is a California Highway Patrolman named Bob, or "Sargeant Bob" as we call him. Yes, a bona fide CHIP like Ponch and Jon of old. (Though they just call it C-H-P now and definitely don't appreciate the CHIPS references.) He's a lovely, outgoing, overly helpful guy who asks us at least once a week -no exaggeration - how we're liking Ventura and the neighborhood and if there's anything he can do to be of assistance to us. He offers to watch our house for us if we are even going to be away on a day-trip. Bob is very protective of the street and lets you know it too, frequently peppering conversations with police-related lingo. He's a real piece of work, and we love him for it. He and his wife Lori are having their first baby this spring at age 39, and this is a regular conversation topic as well.

Bob was delighted when I called him this week to ask him for the info on a great, no-frills mechanic he uses in town. The emissions light had been on in our van for more than a month, and last week the 'due for regularly scheduled maintenance' light came on. We took it in to Bob's mechanic, J.R., on Thursday. Imagine our great dismay yesterday when we learned that the transmission is rapidly going and needs to be replaced - to the tune of $3200. That is literally 1/3 the cost of the vehicle, which we bought 3 months ago (and on which we did NOT get the warranty. Naturally.) Unbelievable. The car has 100K miles on it, and and the average tran replacement for a Honda Odyssey is at approx 150K. Our luck with car purchases has never been good, and this one is feeling like the icing on the cake...

Kickoff camping venture

It took us just over 4 hours to reach our campsite in Sequoia National Forest on Saturday, including a 40-minute stop in Bakersfield for donuts and bathroom. We arrived at about 11:45 AM and were thankful that the rain we'd encountered en route (the first real rain we've had since we moved here) had given way to cloudy skies. Our campsite was located in a tiny, no-frills town called Camp Nelson with a year-round population of 200. At 4500 feet, it's located 12 miles and about 30 minutes up a windy dirt road from the nearest "civilization." Quite a beautiful pass, and the thick trees come quickly and surprisingly after wide plains.

The site itself, "Belknap," is the nicest we've encountered in CA - particularly pleasing becuase many we've seen have been dismayingly sketchy for would-be family campers. J happily climbed the boulders that littered the site througout the weekend... Keeping our resident crawler, Q, off the wet ground was a harder task. Daytime temps were in the low 60's and nightime were low 40's... Cold. Rain would have done us in, so we were thankful to miss it.

The boys slept in one tent and the girls in a second, with Q in a pack-and-play. It worked out fairly well and all were asleep by 8 pm. Sleep went decently if not fabulously, mostly due to temps (i.e., our concern about the kids' warmth). We ate our mac-&-cheese dinner and oatmeal breakfast by the campfire, using wood we'd bought at the lone town store on Saturday afternoon. For recreation we took two short "hikes," a term connoting a 1/4 mile distance to a 3-year old (with half of it being carried).

All told, it was great. The Sequoias were huge and beautiful; the New Englanders in us were refreshed by the terrain and trees; the kids did well. The notion of setting out as a family to road trip and adventure held great appeal for Y and me, and we returned from the experience reassured and encouraged. We dilly-dallied en route home on Sunday, including stops of necessity such as carsick J puking his guts out on the return trip down the pass (lovely), and those of fun like our In-N-Out Burger lunch.
We have Joshua Tree in our sights for a November trip...

Our own "Thoreau"

OK, I guess it's a stretch to call 4 pots of tomato plants in our suburban backyard "Thoreau..." But hey, we're trying. Y. bought the pots and plants yesterday; one of the advantages of a the So. Cal climate is the fact that you can grow tomatoes all year long. J. loves to water/drown them and would do so all day long if we let him. We've talked around and around about trying to start a mini-garden with Y. wanting to but feeling like doing so in a rental home is something of a waste. Eventually he realized that the $20 investment is worth the joy the little red buggers will bring him (and J.) as they come up.

Also in the "Thoreau" vein -- this weekend we embark upon our first ever Family Camping Trip. It will be epic, I'm sure. We're heading in our minivan up to the Sequoia National Forest, about a 3.5 hour drive one-way, leaving tomorrow morning at 7 AM. Are we insane? Perhaps. Just that amount of drive time with two children under 3 years in a 36-hour period could classify as insane... Time well tell. "Watch this space" for an update early next week!

Creature comfort

On Friday we got new couches for our family/play room, which is adjacent to the kitchen, opens to the back yard, and hosts our TV. So basically: a space in which we spend a lot of time. Previously we had a vintage 1960's French-built couch that had been handed down to us from my great Uncle Sam Pray, a beast with a mahogany frame that weighed about 300 pounds. They knew how to make 'em solid back then. The couch (red, holey frame with blue cushions) sported a fraying floral slipcover that fit it poorly - an all around eyesore. We found a decent-quality, sufficiently comfortable couch and loveseat set that we purchased new for less than $600, including taxes and shipping... A price that stunned me, especially in CA.

It's amazing the difference that household items contribute to the feel of a space. There's a study that demonstrates that when broken windows in a neighborhood go unnoticed and unrepaired, that neighborhood's crime rates increase, and this correlations makes sense to me. Spending time in a room that feels slapped together really grates on the senses over time. So I'm especially thankful that we were able to find and afford these, as their presence is greatly enhancing my day-to-day home life already.

"Hair" we are, 3 months into our new life...

Last week when my mom was here, I got my hair cut. Bored with my current length and style, I got something different... though not this cut. This photo was taken in November 1997 after Y. and I had been together for about 10 days -- and just before I left for a 4-month trip to Africa. He hated it but didn't say so at the time, though he isn't shy now about his feelings on it. If ever I talk about doing something different with my hair, he asks me not to cut it like this. Gotta love husbands, huh? This time I just shortened it and had some real layers put in - something I usually avoid for fear of ending up with some 80's horror - and had the hairdresser actually teach me how to style it. 32 years old and completely devoid of experience using any styling implement except a hair dryer. It's embarassing. The one time I ever used a curling iron I burned a spot of flesh in my forehead minutes before walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. But this time I took the bull by the horns and bought both curling and flat irons, and now am playing teenager and experimenting...

So now I have a new hairstyle and Y. - with exposure to eternal sun and a dab of Sun-In -has gone (back to) blond. Amazing what 3 months in CA can do. It would be nice if the emotional adjustment to our new life in CA could be as quick and complete as a haircut. I continue to be surprised by the process... How days of feeling settled-in and "normal" here are mixed in with days of feeling out-of-place and homesick. For both of us, though probably for Y. even more than me. It's not a linear process at all -- it's almost like the emotional/experiential side needs time to catch up to the objective, thinking side. In theory, we're on board with this phase of life and our new home. In practice and mood, we're just not fully there yet, at least not most of the time. Kind of a jet lag of the soul.

I observe in myself, too, a continual desire and temptation to manage the transition and decide for myself when things will change. I even see this in my prayer life: "OK, God, I can see that you're doing xx in this phase, and while we may not love it, you're growing us. Fine. Let's agree that all that will be done by the time fall ends, and then we can move onto something more fulfilling." Comical.
Thank goodness for good ol' King David, and prayers like these to (re)direct me: "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands." (Ps. 31)

Dropping like flies

So Y., we have just discovered, has shingles. Who would have thought? He's had a rash on his neck for nearly two weeks now, and it didn't dissipate at all while he was away last week in Georgia, so on Monday he went to the doctor. Shingles. Didn't see that coming! Fortunately it's not a bad case, doesn't really bother him, and should go away on its own within a couple weeks.

To review, though, in the past month we've had:
Me - with a persistent widespread rash stemming from an allergy no-brand sunscreen. Y. -shingles. Angus - mange. And J. had his first real rash, raised bumps across most of his body, a few weeks ago, which resolved itself after two days. Only Q. has been free of skin issues since our move here.
What should we make of this - are we allergic to California?

Making lemonade

Just before the kids and I left to drive my mom back to the airport on Thursday, Y. called from Georgia saying he'd gotten word that he'll be doing another out-of-state training for the second half of October. Oh joy. It's a good one and one he's lucky to be getting it so early... but in the blink of an eye, I saw basically three weekends and two weeks of our fall wash down the drain. So all told, Y. will be away for 7 out of 13 weeks in the Aug - Oct months, but who's counting (or whining)? Not thrilled.

To help me stay positive, I decided to take the bull by the horns and plan a long weekend away for the kids and me during Y's absence to visit our dear friends Kari and Matt in Minneapolis. They have twin boys born a month before Q. whom I've never met. After some connecting with Kari and spending a lot of time on the phone with various airlines sorting out my frequent flier miles... the tickets are booked and we are going. Good thing I now have three flying-alone-with-both-kids experiences under my belt to draw on. This will be my first trip with layovers, so I'm going to need them! But I'm very excited.

In other updates... My mom got home following a lovely visit and our 2nd trip to LAX was thankfully as uneventful as the first; J. is 100% potty-trained for pee but poops almost exclusively in his pull-up at night-time or nap-time (normal at the start, I understand); Y. returned home from GA early this afternoon; Angus is still miserable and scratching up a storm, but this is normal for two weeks following the medicine he received on Tuesday...
Onward and upward!

Our mangy mutt - literally

Poor Angus. 2008 has been a rough year for him. First he had a knee injury... then ACL surgery... then 10 weeks of rehab. All before May. He flew out to join us in mid-July and has seemed itchy ever since. Ajdusting to the drier climate, we thought at first. Then, after further scratching - perhaps allergies? We talked to the gardener about whether fertilizer was being used on the lawn (it wasn't). Finally two weeks ago we took him to a local vet, a lovely Egyptian man named Fahmi who lives two houses down from us, who was unsure but guessed allergies. Yesterday Fahmi stopped by after work to see how Angus was doing. (Gotta love a vet who makes house calls!) Answer: worse. Itching continually; had rubbed most of the fur off one of his ears; miserable. Fahmi took one look at him and told me to bring him today.

When we went in this afternoon, I learend that Angus had lost six pounds in two weeks and his itchy spots presented differently. Fahmi guessed mange. Mange! A "highly contagious infestation of a burrowing mites that dig into and through the skin, causing intense itching and crusting." Fahmi took several skin scrapings till eventually he was able to locate a mite under the microscope - and even showed it to me. Dear, sad Angus - a truly 'mangy mutt.' We think he's had it since before he left New England. Now that we've identified and are treating the real issue - hopefully he'll be a much happier dog soon.

My mom's gift: her presence (among other things)

Three cheers for my mom, who arrived midday today for a four-day visit. As luck would have it, Y. left for a weeklong trip to Georgia for a training, flying out of LAX just a few hours before she landed, so they're missing each other - about which both are sad. (Though it is great for me to have my mom in town at a time when I'd otherwise be alone all week... and fortunately both my parents will visit in November when Y. will be home.) The kids and I picked her up at LAX and had a happily uneventful trip to and from the airport, even arriving sufficiently early to park and meet her inside. $3 and a spot 100 yds from the terminal - can't complain about that!

My mom is a personal hero for me, a woman who incorporates enormous wisdom and grace in her day-to-day living in a nonchalant and therefore compelling way. She is a go-to advice person about all manner of life issues, not just for me but for a number of my friends and others. This photo shows how much joy she brings to, and receives from, her loved ones.

A boy and his snails

Meet Sammy and Simon, our new backyard buddies... A daily highlight for J.

On toddler toileting...

So That Era, that infamous season of parenting, is finally upon us. The dreaded Potty Training. I've been told by several of my mentor moms that it's their least favorite aspect of parenting, and truth be told, I can see why. There's just nothing fun about it. One knows it has to be doable to train a kid to pee and poop with control, since it is a behavior that all children everywhere - regardless of upbringing or nationality - exhibit. But still, when the time comes to actually kick off the process with one's firstborn, it's awfully daunting.

After talking it up for weeks with J., we kicked off yesterday with the assistance of the 3 Day Potty Training Guide, an e-book that was forwarded to me by a woman, Courtney, I'd met at my moms' retreat last weekend (which was very good and well worth attending, by the way). Courtney successfully utilized the program with her son last year, so I thought - why not? Worst that could happen is that we wouldn't be done in three days, which was my starting expectation anyway. And the strategy the author lays out seems reasonable.

We now have two loooong days under our belts, about 60% of which has been spent in the bathroom. I'm feeling housebound, cranky, and rather burned out (already!), but all told I'd say it's all going fairly well. J. is cooperative and enthusiastic - actually, overly so since every 10 ish minutes, he claims he has to pee and jaunts off to the loo, whereupon he typically eeks out about 1 tsp of pee with jubilation. I'm hoping he'll eventually get acclimated to the new sensations and arrive at a more normal - and manageable - interval. This evening he shocked me by actually going #2 on the toilet for the first time - a major triumph (and one I didn't dare hope he might achieve so quickly). Amazing, the things one finds oneself celebrating so heartily when parenting a toddler... But truly, I had never been so proud of him!

Surfer dudes

Y. has caught the surfing bug, with the assistance of our friend and next-door-neighborhood Chuck (whom Y. calls his "surfing guru.") The board that Y. bought off craigslist in mid-July has worked well for him and has actually been getting a good bit of use. He and Chuck hit the waves four times last week, most sessions being at 6 AM, pre-work. Impressive commitment! Y. is a beginner but is making good progress, and the two guys really enjoy going together - a plus for everyone, wives included.

Y. realized he could benefit from having a second board as well, ideally a shorter one, and Chuck surprised him on Saturday by bringing him over a perfect one that he'd stumbled upon at a great price. It was pretty touching, and both Chuck and Y. were thrilled about the gift and the board itself. They tried to surf it yesterday but it was flat so they bagged it.

Y. and I actually watched a surfing DVD this weekend that Chuck loaned us... Y. used the word "sick" during the viewing to describe some of the colossal waves, which was a first for me.

New parenthood! (Our cows, that is)

Red-letter day yesterday! Our two cows, Freddy and Cinder, are finally parents. Cinder delivered a jet-black Scottish Highland calf yesterday, a bull. He was breach and the delivery was difficult... Our friend Conrad, with whom the cows now live, had to help pull him out, and apparently the mother, Cinder, appeared initially unwilling to care for the calf as a result. Not good news. Today was an improvement though, and things are going better - as the second photo displays.

The cows are so hairy and wide that it was unclear till recently whether Cinder was actually pregnant, so this is great news. Y. was sad to miss such an auspicious occasion. Co-owner Conrad, with whom Y. has formed the "Mandico Cattle Company" (true story... it's a combination of the two last names; they are even registered with the Highland Cattle Company!) did a great job all around.

How does one go about naming a new baby cow anyway, exactly? This is a first for us.

On MOPS and MOMS

Some of you will chuckle to learn that I've joined the leadership team for the mothers' group that's offered by the church Y. and I are attending (Ventura Missionary Church). Comical, I know, given that we've been going there for just a month! My friend and neighbor Kim goes there with her family (her kids are pictured here at Q's birthday celebration], and she asked me if I'd be interested in filling one of their leadership openings in August, so I started noodling it during the church-search phase.

Back in NH, I hugely valued the kids' and my participation in the local MOPS ["Mothers of Preschoolers"] chapter at our church. The two hours we spent their twice a month on a Wednesday morning were satisfying and enriching for all of us - kids and me alike. The childcare was stellar, the chance for the kids (especially J.) to interact with others his age was helpful, and my opportunity to have some regular "adults only" time focused specifically on mothering and family-related issues was invaluable. I never missed a session.

The mothers' group at our new church is modeled on MOPS but is not part of the national organization. It's called MOMS for "Making Our Mothering Significant." Can you stand these acronyms? But the format is virtually identical, and many of the speakers/topics they're covering this fall look similar to those of my former MOPS. One thing I like about this group is that the leadership team meets regularly for not just group planning/admin but also a corporate Bible study - so my involvement at that level is like a two-for-one, as I'd otherwise not be in a women's study. They are doing a Beth Moore study - the first I've ever done, which I'm excited about since I've long known of her - one on the book of Daniel, with video sessions. Beth sure is as much of a live wire as her reputation indicates... but so far I really like her.

There is a mini-retreat for MOMS leaders this evening 6 - 10 pm and tomorrow morning, 8:30 - 12 noon, so Kim and I will minivan ourselves over there to hang with the ladies, with whom I've so far been pretty impressed... Should be interesting.

Neighborhood life

Yesterday there was a Labor Day party on our street. The neighbors were all there with their meats to grill and side dishes to share; a huge "Jolly Jumper" (at home we call them 'bouncy castles') for the kids to jump on; and good cheer to spread around. It was coordinated by the informally dubbed social coordinator on the street, Mosey, and her husband and held outside their house on one of the street's two cul-de-sac circles.

The kids had a good time and Y. and I enjoyed the chance to meet new neighbors and hang out with the ones we'd already met. We agreed that our street and its inhabitants are as good an example as any of sociable, pleasant neighborhood life. The fireman, policeman, dentist, and vet who are our immediate neighbors are the best any could ask for. Still, we are really struggling with the transition into a close-quarter neighborhood of this type... especially Y. While we predicted this, the reality of it is setting in now and he struggles with feeling like a caged animal in our house and in the town. The daily norms of small childrens' recreational life here - going to the playground; playing on the (tiny) backyard playset; riding bikes on the sidewalk - are not those that he daydreams about his kids doing. And for himself, the lack of land and space cramps his soul on a daily basis. Today is the two-month anniversary of our move, and it is clearly the single biggest adjustment that we are facing and trying to figure out how to deal with...

"Reunited and it feels so good"

Tonight is the first Sunday night in four weeks that Y. doesn't have to drive back to San Diego for another week of training... Hooray for his training being over and for us getting through another month apart! We're thrilled (and tired). We just baked some celebratory homemade brownies from Y.'s beloved source, Cook's Illustrated - our third recipe from their pages in two days.

Our friends Dan and Rebecca came up from Los Angeles for the weekend with their 10-wk old baby, Noah - see photo. Dan and Y. surfed three times in 24 hours, which was quite a feat -- Y. is improving and beginning to catch waves. Our mutual friend Andrea, who lives in Santa Barbara, threw a birthday party last night for her husband, so we got a babysitter and headed up for a night out. All of us lived in Boston together years ago, and it was a fun and reminiscent time.

Tomorrow Y. is off and we have a blissfully free and empty day. Our street is having a neighborhood Labor Day barbecue, so we'll stop in there for a bit to say hello. And otherwise just hang out with the kids and relax. Q. has begun walk with the assistance of a push walker (which J. refers to as a lawnmower for "moving" his lawn.) She's in a spurt of changing really fast just now...

Doing dinner...

When we moved in early July and reunited as a family, my traditional mother/housewife role seemed to go at once from from 0 to 60 mph... Or at least so it feels. This is particularly true in the arena of food preparation (though other areas, like ironing and house-cleaning, aren't far behind). When Y. got the call about his new job in mid-Dec, our children were 4 and 25 months old and Y.'s standard work schedule was a 3 - 11 pm shift five nights a week. Family meals were sporadic and usually came in the form of waffle breakfasts or homemade pizza lunches that were spearheaded by Y., our family gourmand. While I can cook, I don't love to and haven't done so with much regularity in my adult life. In NH I fed myself and J. our dinners in a healthy but utilitarian fashion when Y. worked evenings -- and then left for six months.

Suddenly here I am in California, my husband works a basic 9 - 5 Monday through Friday; for the first time in eight years, he's home for dinner; and our toddler is old enough to eat real food and sit with us. All positive devevlopments. I'm the one home all day, so getting dinner organized naturally falls to me. I'm more than willing to prepare it; I just feel a bit clueless. Brainstorming new meals to cook each day; figuring out the how-to; preparing shopping lists; comparison price-shopping for ingredients... It's all new. Where the average wife/mother has been working on this slowly but surely for years, I've suddenly arrived and I'm trying catch up. I definitely have a new appreciation for the energy and management capacity that go into this part of wife/mother life. To do it well clearly requires skill.

Grocery shopping in CA can be stressful because food really is noticeably more expensive than it is back home... most items are average 25% higher than we paid at home. The kids and I hit two to three sources a week to get our groceries - a local farm stand for produce; Trader Joe's for dairy, cheese, and sundries; and Von's, the local Shaw's-type store, for everything else. [J. sits in the main basket part of the cart and Q. sits in the front, strapped in... So far it's working OK.] All-in-one, inexpensive Market Basket is looking really appealing right about now...! I'm working on developing a weeklong meal plan that I can follow to help guide my shopping and cooking, like lots of moms do. It can't be rocket science, right??

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy..." (J. Denver)

Y. is a proud and undying John Denver fan; he most frequently refers to him as "the late John Denver, God rest his soul." So needless to say, we have been listening to a lot of J.D. since our reunion in early July. [I can't say that the kids and I listened to him a lot while Y. was away this spring.] Y. has even trained J. on this point: if you ask "Who's the best musician in the world?" - J. will reply, "John Denver!" without missing a beat.

Sunshine on John Denver's shoulders may make him happy enough to sing about, but it hasn't been making me so jubilant this week. I developed a rash from the spray-on SPF 50 sunscreen I recently bought for the kids, and my arms and legs have been covered in itchy red bumps for four days now (nevermind that I haven't applied any since it broke out on Thursday morning.) I finally cracked yesterday and bought some Benadryl anti-itch cream, which has not provided any noticeable relief.

The sunscreen issue is a new one. At home our strategy was basically to throw sun hats on the kids when outdoors and call it a day. Their faces were shaded and that sufficed. That seems inadequate here since we spend more time outside and thus are generally in eternal direct sun. One of my in-laws' first comments when they visited was how bronze we all looked - not a word one wants used to describe one's fair toddlers. (And you see attractive 30-something women here whose faces look 10 years older from weathering-- a fellow New England friend of ours calls them 'leatherbacks.' I don't aspire to be one.) While I thought a spray-on option might assauge the distasteful task of applying sunscreen to squirming, resistant children, this has clearly backfired. Though at least J. and Q. have proven immune, so far, to the spray-on rash their mom is sporting!

Birthday time!

Today our sweet little Q. is one year old. It's at once hard and easy to believe, as parenting seems to ever encompass both slow-moving and fast-moving aspects that occur simultaneously. It suffices to say that she is so deeply ingrained in our family and our psyches that we can't imagine life without her.

She has become quite a climber - more so that J. ever was - and she also absolutely loves water in a way that he never has. She's ecstatic and fearless in the bathtub, throwing her chubby little body around with abandon. She's also a real laugher and enjoys nothing more than a good giggle-fest with her brother. I wish I could say that Q's eating skills, always her biggest challenge, have improved as she's grown but alas, they have not. She puked up half her lunch just today as the taste/texture didn't quite suit her (most don't). If I let her she would take all her meals in the form of spoon-fed pureed foods like a 6-month old and be as happy as a clam.

Our neighbors Chuck and Kim and their four kids are coming over tomorrow afternoon for some pizza and cake, which will make things feel more celebratory (though of course, birthdays for one-year olds are all for family and photo-op and not at all for kids, who are clueless). We found an outdoor table and chairs on craigslist that Y., who unexpectedly got today off, is picking up even now... Which will be useful for our little party.

Reentry, continued

Reentry is a topic I've often dealt with in my consulting work for high-risk populations- reentry for prisoners coming out; reentry for juvenile delinquents returning home after boot camp experiences. The early days aren't the ones that need the most attention, since enthusiasm is high and intentions are good and front-of-mind. It's the ensuing weeks and months, when resources thin out and things get tiring and trying, that 'reentry' is most apt to go awry.

I'm living out this experience a bit myself. This month's frustrations are more frustrating than last month's because I'm just so tired of it. Shouldn't things be leveling off by now, not the other way around? Numerous areas of the house/yard need 'attention' and aggravate me when I let my guard down, and my thin budget and limited bargain-shopping capacity feel inadequate to meet the needs. Returning things that don't work is time-consuming "live" and expensive for stuff bought online; I'm growing unenthusiastic about both the customer service line at Wal-Mart and UPS guys.

The fact that Y. is away for four weeks adds to this. We both want to settle in and feel thwarted by his absence, and our various apprehensions about adjusting to life here grow in our minds as we're unable to work through them in real life. We've never been good at relationship-by-phone call, and even our in-person weekend time hasn't been the best ever - not too surprising given the circumstances.
Another 'wait on the Lord' experience, it seems, as this too shall pass. And of course, that is the big success ingredient for reentry - perseverance...

It's a hard knock life for 3-yr old boys...

We enjoyed a nice visit, both entertaining and restful, with our friends down in El Cajon, a town just northeast of San Diego. They bought and rennovated a lovely 1950's house, and their tiered backyard with views overlooking the valley was a great place to spend time, especially in the evening as we watched the moon rise over a delicious dinner. The Welds were very gracious hosts in every way.

Andy is an old friend whose family and mine have long been close and are, in many ways, two peas in the traditional New England pod. So it was fun to compare notes on CA with him and his San Diego native wife Emily, both of whom had great insights.

Equally fun was the amusement provided by their son Michael and J., who were born within weeks of each other and became fast friends. Their favorite activities was pushing brooms around the floor, pretending they were sweeping, and wearing hard hats. Here they are pictured doing both. Michael will be providing twofold 'inspiration' to J. (though of course J. doesn't yet know it) in coming weeks: he is potty trained and he sleeps in a big-boy bed. Michael's room contains both his big-boy bed and his old crib, so the boys slept together and had their first ever slumber party. They were predictably up till after 9 chattering about trucks and cars, which was sweet, but they surprised us by actually slept till nearly 7. Activities of Q. and Michael's 4-month old sister Kathryn were less noteworthy - at least this time around.

The kids and I had eventful drives both down to El Cajon on Saturday morning and back last night. About two hours into the trip down and without any warning or precursor, J. threw up all over himself. Twice. He'd eaten 2 1/2 cereal bars for breakfast and obviously they didn't sit well. We pulled over and gas-station-showered him and his carseat with wipes and changed all his clothes. Truly gross. Thankfully a one-off incident. En route home we came upon an accident and sat for an hour plus without moving more than about 5 miles, making the 3-hour trip a 5-hour one. So far LA-area traffic is proving its reputation...

What? Thunderstorms in the summer?

The strangest thing happened here yesterday afternoon. It rained. I was outside in the backyard and felt a few drops. What on earth could that be? I thought. Surely not RAIN? Though I had observed it was growing eerily humid in the afternoon and noted that it could almost feel like a New England August day... Just a few plunky drops though, that I would have missed it I hadn't happened to be out.

Then at 2 AM I was awakened by the loudest and most intense thunderstorm I can ever remember hearing. It went on for perhaps an hour, and the power went out briefly. This type of weather is so highly unusual that one of the women in my mom's group actually started an online discussion about it and posted photos (e.g., this one. I certainly was not sitting next to my window snapping shots at that hour.). She and several other moms had sat with their children watching it endlessly in the middle of the night... Borderline institutional behavior to the thinking of a New England, thunderstorms-are-run-of-the-mill occasions mother like me.

This normal sunny Ventura morning you'd never guess we had a huge storm last night, except that large brown snails could be found on our driveway, to the delight of J. and Q... Though the one that Q. got her hands on did not last for long, poor thing. This was while we drawing sidewalk chalk on the driveway - Q. eating the chalk, and J. scribbling back and forth one single vertical line with the yellow, saying the picture was of himself, Q., mommy, daddy, and Angus. Amusing.

Tomorrow morning we are off bright and early to visit our long-time friends the Welds at their house north of San Diego - Y., who's been down there all week, will meet us there. First road trip on the west coast...!

Conclusion to the church hunt

After trying out four churches, we finally decided on Ventura Missionary Church. No church is perfect, of course, but we do like it and feel comfortable there, and it seems the best fit of those we tried. An added bonus is that our fireman neighbors - Chuck, Kim, and family - go there too.

On Sunday the sermon topic was "blessed are the persecuted" as they're doing a series on the Beatitudes, and they did an interview with the church's very bright and articulate missions pastor. The guy was a cop for 22 years with expertise in hostage negotiation, and since the 1980's he has headed up the world's only consulting and assistance ministry to missionaries in high-security or abduction situations. We found his commentary fascinating and compelling, especially Y, as we'd never really contemplated the security aspects of the missionary movement. 120 missionaries taken hostage in the past 20 years, and half of these murdered. Info here. Y introduced himself when the service ended, so who knows, maybe this is something we'll learn more about. It all served to make us feel that we were in the right place.

Y left on Sunday night to head back to San Diego again for the week. As his parents had left by shuttle on Saturday morning, the kids and I are home alone. The past two days have been surprisingly refreshing and quieting. It feels like the dust has settled, and we now have our bearings.

Playground pair

Settling in

It's amazing the difference that curtains can make... and this coming from a not-especially-domestic girl who can't sew. But thank God for my mother-in-law, who spent perhaps 8 or 10 hours over the past two weeks on curtain-sewing projects, blessing three rooms in our house with her gifts. The fact that she actually said, while sitting on the floor cutting fabric before hemming, "I'd forgotten how much I like sewing" is about the only reason I'm not wracked with guilt at how much time and labor she put into it all.

Anyway, our rooms are curtained and I am thrilled. Our bedroom in particular, pictured here, looks 100% better than previously. A house painted entirely white can look very sterile, and somehow this seemed especially true in our room, where the whole back wall is a 12-foot window. And added bonus: I now no longer have to wear my Jet Blue eye mask from 5:30 - 7 AM to continue sleeping.

It's become clear that some focus needs to go next into the backyard since, though it's small, it could become much more comfortable and usable for us... which would make us feel more at home at home, so to speak. Y. especially is at rather a loss since, at the farm, he would just head off with J. to do any number of (for him) fun projects like feed the cows, collect eggs, mend a fence. Now the only outdoor activities offered are blowing bubbles - our kids' seemingly endless favorite pasttime, throwing a ball, or our personal favorite: picking up Angus' poop with a plastic bag. [Suburbanites that we've become... depressing to have sunken to this after his toileting freedom, running loose on a 20-acre farm.] We're in the market for a small children's playset and some outdoor furniture...

For me, the 'settling in' effort has been greatly helped by welcomed R &R that my in-laws' visit has provided, which has allowed atypical extravagances: running every other day, a morning girls' outing to get coffee and pedicures with my neighbor Kim, and a lovely massage today which Y surprised me with as a gift. They have been wonderful.

Tourist time in southern Cali

It's been a full few days here in sunny California with the in-laws. With Y. out of town, our little troupe of two seniors, two toddlers (well, Q. isn't quite there yet but almost), and myself having been loading into the van and hitting the sites. On Monday we went to the historic Buenaventura Mission, the founding site of Ventura, built in 1782. The Franciscan monk who founded it was a Spaniard named Junipero Serra, who is known to posteriority as the "Apostle of California" (or so says the plaque under his statue). The beautiful old church is still in use today, the small gardens are lovely, and the tiny museum seemed interesting but of course, with said toddlers in tow, we spent approximately 90 seconds therein. There's also a giant wooden cross nearby, directly up a very steep hill from the mission - I christened the low gears on the van climbing up to it- which overlooks all of Ventura and is very scenic indeed. This is the site where Junipero et al actually first established themselves.

Yesterday we headed up the coast to Santa Barbara to introduce Nona and Grandpa to the zoo. As it was J's second time, he was rather more directive, shall we say, than in his previous visit... wanting to see the elephants when we were at the monkeys, the giraffes when we were at the elephants, and so on. A glimpse into our future, I'm guessing. We had a nice time, though, and saw the two lions - apparently named Chadwick and Gingerbread - closer up than I've ever seen lions before.

We rounded out the evening by hitting a famous California landmark, the esteemed "In N Out Burger." It's been in business since 1948 - truly an original 'fast food' restaurant - and they have changed basically nothing on the menu, and little in the ambience, since then. They serve JUST burgers, fries, and drinks (hard to believe in comparison to the arrayed menus of McDonald's, Burger King, etc) and they actually make all their food fresh right there... nothing frozen or pre-made. I'd been once before in 1997 when on a legendary cross-country road trip with my dear friend Lora, but my appreciation for fresh foods has increased considerably since then. The food was delicious - we all enjoyed it. Nona even bought a T-shirt!